So this post isn't going to be about me. I'm really not that interesting anyways. Witty? sure. Charming? According to most. Devilishly handsome? Just ask my
mirror
. But not interesting. That's for things
larger
than life. Like countries. Specifically China, in case you couldn't figure that out from the title, or the last 6 blog posts. Anyways, here's what China has been up to.
Public dancing.
These people love to dance, and do a weird Asian Zumba thing (guangchuangwu, 广场舞), and pretty much anything else you can do with choreographed movements in a park. Every evening when
the sun
begins
to set, middle aged women flock to the streets in throngs (in case you were speed reading, no I didn't type thongs), so that they can get their groove on. IMO (in my opinion for you non-millenials) this is something we should transplant to the States. It's good exercise, enforces a sense of community, and allows you to meet people without signing up for a $300 class in a gym.
Helicopter landings.
 |
On the plus side, it doubles as a rescue copter
when the buildings collapse |
My school is pretty quiet. Nothing really ever happens here out of the ordinary. It's essentially a small town in rural Kansas, give or take 20,000 people. But three days ago, a helicopter decided to land on the track where I and every student on campus tend to go jogging. since then it has been landing and taking off with the regularity of an Activia commercial. Have you ever had a helicopter buzz your
apartment building
? You have? weird. But at least your building was probably made to last. My complex has a shelf life of about fifteen years and is currently
entering
its seventh year. So the vibrations from a helicopter feel eerily similar to a category 3 earthquake. Good times. Good times.
Picture taking.
 |
Pictured: Maturity |
This is a
class
full of grown adult college professors. They had never seen a real life white person before, so they took a
picture of
yours truly. And then I took a
picture of
them taking a picture of me taking a picture of them. Pretty meta, right?
 |
"If we stack them high enough, maybe the
cops won't be able to see who's driving." |
Hoarding.
This picture is terrible. That's partly my bad, and mostly the bad of the
chinese girl
who shouldered past me to get on a bus. I don't blame her, I would've done the same. But what you are looking at is half of this motor bike's cargo of....styrofoam? I'm not really sure. But it was as tall as a double decker bus and as wide as my living room. So I was impressed. This stuff happens all the time, but usually its trash, or squished down cardboard. Seeing something this bulky weaving through
traffic
, was worth a photo.
Clear Skies.
 |
My eyes were tearing up from joy instead of toxic fumes |
Just...What?
Words do not exist in the
English language
to express how rare, how beautiful, and how perfect this last week has been. I took a breath of air. That was it. No smoke. No toxic chemicals. Nothing but pure unadulterated oxygen (and nitrogen for you sciencey types)
Mistranslations.
 |
I'd add a caption...but nothing I can say is
better than that sign. |
These are
normal
.
All
things considered, this one actually isn't
even
that bad. Part of me wonders if this is intentional. I would feel terrible to wake the grass up from a nap. Imagine if you were sleeping, then a giant came in and stepped on your entire family.
Things are harder to kill when you humanize them. So actually, well played China. Well played.
Lines
.
 |
Don't worry. It's actually twice that long. I'm only halfway
to the checkout counter. |
This is Wal-Mart.
Don't go
on
a
weekend
.
Ever.
I'm
warning
you.
You'll regret it.
Th-th-th-that's all folks. Oh, I also
found
out how to
type
in Chinese. 再见。 我爱你们。 你好妈妈。
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